What is Your National Anthem?

I was at my daughter’s Christmas concert today. I’ve been going to it for the last 5 years and this year kids really out did themselves. They sang more complex songs, they were witty and best of all, they kept their attention focused. The highlight for me was when they sang the national anthem. About half a dozen scouts came out and did a wonderful rendition of the national anthem and the audience also joined.

O God of all creation
Bless this our land and nation
Justice be our shield and defender
May we dwell in unity
Peace and liberty
Plenty be found within our borders

I stood on tiptoes to see Maria singing. Although I couldn’t hear her singular voice over anyone else, I could see her poise and confidence as she was singing. The crowd too seemed to be totally focused. It was their national anthem after all. By the time the three stanzas were done I had silly tears in my eyes. It wasn’t just that the anthem was moving; it was more because everyone belonged here and they were part of it. Apart from the smattering of expats everyone was singing. It was their song. Their anthem.  It was slightly uncomfortable to stand there and not even know the words to it all. But my conflict went deeper than not knowing the lyrics. It made me realize that I didn’t even know my own national anthem. So I stood there, and for the two minutes that took to sing the whole anthem I realized that I did not belong there. I am not Kenyan. I live on a renewable permit valid for two years at a time. Nor am I truly Ethiopian. I’m just a random stranger on Earth.

The last few days I’ve actually been thinking about my place in this world. I’m not talking about a Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, or Bill Gates, historical and philosophical sort of place in this world. It was more of a place of belonging. A place where I can put my roots down and keep them growing.  My entire life has been spent moving from country to country. In thirty odd years I’ve moved an average of 13 times. My family moved back to Ethiopia in 98. Ten years later I moved again, this time to Kenya and with my own family. I hadn’t really stayed in one place long enough to belong and call it home. You might think that ten years in any place is a long enough time to acclimatize and acculturate. When you’ve spent your entire life within a culture that is so different, it is supremely difficult to learn all the steps of a new country. Case in point, I grew up believing I was going to marry my handsome cousin. Yikes, right? But that’s a totally normal way of life in the Middle East.

About two years ago a friend of mine from Poland came to visit me in Nairobi. He too, like me, was a product of two different cultures, perhaps made worse by the fact that his mom was Christian and Polish and his father was Muslim and Yemeni. Where do you begin to consolidate your life with such varying degrees of separation? Sadly, parents are rarely aware of the conflict that runs within their children’s veins. And kids are too young anyway to begin to articulate the situation so the whole thing just drags out like a Spanish soap opera.

The few years I’ve spent in Kenya have sort of invalidated or robbed me of that “Ethiopian” feeling and I don’t know how to get it back. It becomes hard to keep any tradition when you’re swallowed by the local culture here. You end up feeling like an island within your own continent. I’m neither Egyptian, Yemeni, Ethiopian, nor Kenyan. I don’t pledge allegiance to any flag. I don’t sing the anthem of any nation. I don’t celebrate the holidays of any particular country.  

Today when I’m struggling with keeping my identity as a citizen of the world who has no anthem to call her own, it’s the voice of my daughter that rings above the din of all others. She is going to grow and know where she belongs. She won’t be hopping from capital, to shore to continent, and from anthem to anthem, not knowing what the next stage of her life is going to be. I know parents mean the best and try to ultimately do the best by their kids. Creating roots, traditions, everyday meaningful little things that last a lifetime however, are perhaps the biggest treasures they can bestow on them. Giving them an anthem to call their own is the ultimate sense of belonging.

What about you, my friends and citizens of this world? What is your national anthem?

Ee Mungu nguvu yetu

Ilete baraka kwetu

Haki iwe ngao na mlinzi

Natukae na undugu

Amani na uhuru

Raha tupate na ustawi

Amkeni ndugu zetu

Tufanye sote bidii

Nasi tujitoe kwa nguvu

Nchi yetu ya Kenya

Tunayoipenda

Tuwe tayari kuilindai

Natujenge taifa letu

Ee, ndio wajibu wetu

Kenya istahili heshima

Tuungane mikono

Pamoja kazini

Kila siku tuwe na shukrani